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Judgement

How I felt at the time…

Anxious, angry, really alone and mad at myself

How I feel now…

I never questioned my decision. I know it’s what was right for me. But I definitely wish I had told the people in my life and asked for support.

My story…

When I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend and I immediately went to Planned Parenthood. I didn’t even consider other options- I didn’t want a baby and I didn’t want to be pregnant. There was nothing to consider except what kind of abortion I was going to have. I decided to have a medical abortion and we came back to PP three weeks later. They were some of the longest weeks of my life- despite being tired and nauseous all the time, I was so scared of the abortion and all the things I had been reading. I had so many questions but I couldn’t find any answers. I didn’t feel second guess my decision or feel like it was bad or  wrong, but I still didn’t want to tell anyone. Because  I didn’t, I felt like I was lying to everyone in my life.

Finally, after three weeks,  the day came. I took the pill at home and had really bad cramps and bleeding. My boyfriend tried to be there for me and said we were going through it together, but I didn’t think so. I felt like I was going through it alone.

Since then I’ve helped several friends in the same position. Looking back, I really wish I would’ve told the people in my life and gotten support, but I felt really ashamed and afraid that people would judge me. But now I tell people close to me. A lot of time, I find out they had abortions and didn’t tell anyone either. Whenever that happens, I think we’re both really happy to be able to be honest with people about our choices and not fear their judgement.

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