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15 and Preggo -This Is Not How It Ends

How old were you when you had your abortion?


How I felt at the time…


How I feel now…


My story…

When I was a 15 year-old high school sophomore, I got pregnant. My boyfriend and I had been using condoms, but not consistently (clearly.) I had not actually thought anything about my missing period – a friend who had been worrying over her being late and my mom had to trigger my interest and intuition. I started being exhausted and craving eggs and jalapenos, so my BF and I trekked to the planned parenthood for a test. They asked what options I wanted if it turned out positive, and abortion was the only thing I wanted.

I was NOT going to make my life the catastrophe of me growing fat on the couch while I dropped out of school and raised a brat with some asshole I barely cared about. I was saving money for college. I got amazing grades. I was an AP student. This is not where my life was supposed to end. So get it out of me!

I was about 6  weeks gone then, and at that time you could only get a medical abortion. So I had to wait another week – 7 weeks was the medical minimum – tell my mom so she could sign the paperwork, and come up with $380. In high school. That was a lot of money.

My BF took the cash out of his parents’ account, with the thinking that we’d simply tell them after it was done and hope they’d be pleased (they were.) My mom cried when I told her, then confessed that she and my father had aborted two years before I was born, when they were in high school. I made the appointment for a Friday I had off from school, and my mom had off from work (because she worked in the school system.) It happened to be Valentine’s Day.

Mom and I fortunately lived within an hour of one of the state’s two abortion clinics. We waded through protesters to get there – mom told me not to look or engage, but I was fascinated. I gave them a critique – they were insulting me as a slut, and I wondered aloud if they wouldn’t get farther with a softer approach. Doesn’t your invisible sky fairy love me? No? Because I’m a slut, so say you?

Mom wisely packed light snacks for the surgery – we waited for HOURS in that room, regardless of whenever the appointment time was. I was craving Taco Bell like you can’t imagine. They took my blood and did the intake. The woman taking my blood murdered my arm – her excuse: I was her first blood draw in three years. She’d left the abortion world for family clinics because she felt guilty. Her advice? “Honey, this is the waaaay better end of things, trust me. I’ve seen some things that’s make your skin crawl. I came back here because it’s better.”

In the room. They have to give me a vaginal ultrasound because that’s the law. The nurse tried to be nice to me when I asked why they had to do it – she said that it might be twins, and some people might have always wanted twins, so they were going to let me have one last look. I was like, “Why, if I don’t want one baby, would I possibly want two babies?? Those people sound insane.” The abortion was awful for about two minutes. They had to hold me down – I tried not to move like they said, but it hurt too much. But then it was over, and they let me rest.

The recovery room had soap operas, heated bankets and chocolates (as it was Valentines Day, they had sprung for some yummy candy.) I joked with the other ladies recovering there, who felt bad for me due to my age. I was the youngest person there that day.

When I left, I still had those preggo cravings for a few days. I begged my mom to take me to Taco Bell immediately after the surgery (she relented after much teary pleading – I wasn’t upset about the abortion, but damn, if crying got me tacos, I was doing it.) Slowly my boobs shrunk back down (boo!) but my life went back to normal. I broke up with the tool who knocked me up within the month – hey, it was high school. My life moved on. I graduated early, went to college, graduated early, went to grad school, graduated early. Met my husband. Have a great career. Live where I always dreamed of. Not that I ever doubted it, but my abortion was the best decision I ever made.

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