My Second Abortion
I am an educated woman who just this weekend received her second abortion. Even at this wonderfully empowering, pro-choice, accepting clinic, I declined to tell them it was my second. Braving the stigma with one abortion story is about all I can stomach. I don’t want to be ashamed of my choice, but I don’t want the judgment, either. It’s funny–I can see myself sharing my abortion count once I get my Implanon or my IUD: “I learned my lesson.” Until then, I’ll sense that my personal responsibility is at a deficit.
I hate that I’m ashamed, because the reality is that my personal responsibility is in the black. I did the right thing for myself and for the fetuses I aborted. My choices *should* be less embarrassing than those of a woman who raised two children but could not provide for them or did not care to be a decent parent to them.
I don’t hold any religious beliefs that dictate my personal morals or ethics. I don’t believe that conception is a magical process that imbues a zygote with personhood. To whom do I feel, then, that I have to justify my decisions? I don’t know. As I write this, I want to convince you of my utter respect for life, how I contribute what I can with my career to raise the quality of life for myself and for others.
I wish my story were more accepted, less whispered.