I exercised my right to choose
How I felt at the time…
Stupid, scared, confused
How I feel now…
At peace
Who I told…
My best guy friend, my sister, my stepmom, and my dad
Who came with me to my abortion…
My stepdad
How old was I…
20
My story…
When the word “Pregnant” showed up on that pee stick I thought my world was over. I saw my college and professional careers go down the tube. I saw many of my relationships crumble or strain. I saw the looks of disappointment on many of my family members faces. I saw my world end. All of this flooding my mind in what seemed like ten minutes, but was only ten seconds. Yes, I was probably overreacting, but I’m 20 and in college… It tends to happen. As I put my hand on my belly and put the test up to the light for the tenth time to make sure I wasn’t misreading it, I knew in the back of my head there was no way that I could keep it. It wasn’t the right time in my life at all. I was getting ready to start my junior year of college. There was no way I could financially or academically take off a semester, let alone a year of school to be pregnant. It wasn’t possible.
I walked out of the bathroom and into the living room to break the news to my dad. As tears began to run down my face he got up and hugged me. He promised me that no matter what my decision was he was behind me the whole way through. He kept his promise, taking me to all of the appointments and supporting me through it all.
Since then I’ve had to deal with friends who don’t know about what happened making comments about abortions and people who get them, throwing around terms like “baby killers” and “heartless” like nothings. I’ve had to walk through the demonstrations by our on-campus “pro-life” group. It’s become easier to brush these aside and not let them hurt me, but it still happens. The thing is I’m not heartless. Hell, I’m going to school to be a teacher! I also practically raised my baby sister. That’s exactly how I knew I wasn’t ready. I just remind myself that those people don’t know me. They don’t know my story. They don’t know how I felt or what I experienced. I’m at peace with myself, and to me that’s all that matters.
What it all comes down to what that It was my decision and my life. I can’t change my decision, nor would I ever. I followed my head and my heart, and my story would have been completely different if I hadn’t.