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Archive for October, 2013

It’s hard to do the right thing

Monday, October 21st, 2013

To those thinking about abortion- everything is going to be okay. Take one day at a time. You are not alone!

My story….

When I was 15, I fell ill with the ‘flu’. It never even crossed my mind that I could be pregnant. I was attempting to be responsible. Was on birth control pills (which I had a very hard time not forgetting) and my boyfriend used condoms. The day my mom took me to our doctor and he requested I take a pregnancy test, I felt like I was going to faint. When they came in with my results confirming that it was indeed positive, I didn’t know what to think. So many things crossed my mind when I was getting up the nerve to tell my mother that I was in fact nearly 3 months pregnant. I finally confessed. She flew off the handle. I was threatened that if I didn’t abort then I could find a new place to live and have a “happy life in poverty”. Devastation set in. But I knew in my heart she was right. My life would be hell if I went through with having the baby. The baby’s father was absolutely worthless. He was 19 and doing nothing for himself. He didn’t even have a place to live. Automatically, I agreed to have it.
The night before my appointment I felt so sick that I thought I needed to go to the emergency room. There was absolutely no sleeping. I had fears that I would die from the abortion or die from remaining pregnant. I felt alone. Once we arrived at the clinic early in the morning, I sat and filled out paperwork. My mother hovered over me, watching me write down each answer. My heart was about to explode. Finally after all the bloodwork and exams, it was time. As I laid there waiting for my abortion to begin I knew I was doing the right thing. I was 15 after all. They doctor was very calming and caring. She walked me through the whole thing. The procedure itself wasn’t even close to being as horrible as I imagined. By the time I was in the recovery room doubt set in. Thankfully, two other women were ushered in. Once I knew I wasn’t alone, I knew I did the right thing.

To this day, I don’t regret my decision. The only thing I would change is to have someone more supportive there with me. Although I know now that my mom was just as scared as I was. I forgive her for being so harsh. That particular boyfriend ended up getting another girl pregnant a couple years after our ended relationship. To say the least, I’m happy I didn’t have his child!

To those thinking about abortion- everything is going to be okay. Take one day at a time. You are not alone!

How I felt at the time…

Scared, anxious, sad.

How I feel now…

Peaceful.

How old was I when I had my abortion?

15

How far along was I? 

3 months

Who I told…

Mom, younger sisters, dad, grandma, boyfriend